"You are now entering an IKEA-free-zone."
Let us be honest. There are certain corporations whose products can be found in every household in western europe, north america and parts of south east asia namely, Procter and Gamble, Nokia, Nike and Johnson & Johnson.
There is however, a rather large institution from Scandinavia that for the past decade or so has managed to find its way into our lives. This is none other than IKEA.
Ever heard the saying,'never say never?' I'm sure you have. Well last week I almost gave into the beast and was inches away from crossing the threshold into an IKEA establishment. Here's the story.
I lost a bet to a family member whose hair I had messed up earlier after reading a guide of how to make a ponytail from one of the blogs I follow. Payment was to go and purchase something from IKEA that was to take up residence in my place.
This was suggested by my five year old niece - the mischevous little one. My facial expression was worth a million bucks! This is because everyone around me knows how I'm always rabbiting on about my dislike for IKEA products. It is a no-go area, just like my sister's hair. But this was a no-holds-barred kind of bet.
My dislike for IKEA products is nothing personal or snobbish. It is the rebellious spirit in me that tries to go against the grain at every opportunity I get without breaking any laws or I might end up behind bars with Pishnick the Albanian nonce.
I would at this point like to say that I have nothing against IKEA management or their products. It is just that everywhere one looks they see IKEA: at the office, at friends and family residences, at the bar, in retail to mention but a few. Makes me wonder how we ever lived before IKEA.
This is why I decided a long time ago that my place would be an IKEA-free-zone to prove to anyone that it can be done; plus it is a breath of fresh air, not to mention the stories I've heard of numerous arguments that break out within IKEA establishments amongst couples about which colour or fabric of couch, plastic or porcelain plates, wooden or metallic mirror frames etc - I tell you, IKEA must be one of the reasons behind the high breakup rate nowadays because this is the place where couples finally realise how incompatible they are for each other.
So in this fighting spirit, we drove down to an out-of-town IKEA with my brain in over-drive of how to get out if this one. It's times like this that one wishes Johnnie Cochran was still alive. If he got O.J an acquitall, then he could deliver thwe same for me - unfortunately that is wishfull thinking.
With me, I had my sister and her daughter Lilly whom I had earlier on taken to the side and had a word promising her heaven which for a five year old menas a trip to Hamleys on Regent Street during the Christmas period with two of her best friends. All I know is that I'm not doing it, but hey desperate times call for desperate measures. I don't want to break the little one's heart, but she suggested this IKEA idea to her mum and so here we are.
No sooner had we got out of the car than Lilly started to throw a tantrum which brought a smile to my face meaning we couldn't go into the place with a screaming child so we had to abandon mission. Phew! That was close. I got to live another day with out ever stepping inside an IKEA.
That said, my dislike for IKEA is over compensated through another Swedish corporation by the name of HENNES & MAURITZ better konwn as H&M. Everytime I go into one, I leave with something even I convince myself that this time it's just browsing but still something catches the eye and must be purchased.
Now if I can formulate a fail-safe-plan of how to get out of taking Lilly and her friends to Hamleys. Any suggestions?